Blog

I (30f) feel like my life is crash down around me and I’ve been doing my best to survive it. Five months ago I gave birth to my first son and I love him more than anything else in the world, however, life is going downhill for the both us. I’ve been struggling to heal from a traumatic c-section where I almost passed away on the table. Last month at the end of my maternity leave I was notified by the head of my hr that my work group was being laid off two weeks after my return to office day. They were giving me notice to start planing and told me I would get those last two weeks paid and just to return my work things. Then yesterday my partner of 3.5 years told me he wanted to co-parent our baby, that we were no longer working out as a couple. (I had mixed feelings about wanting to end our relationship as well due to how he treated me but part of me wanted to try and make it past 6 months or a year before giving up.) The baby and I are moving back in with my family now and all I can think about is how he will have broken family and never know what it was like to have both mom and dad under the same roof. I’m sitting at the foot of my bed silently crying trying not to wake up the baby because as soon as he’s up I’ll have to suck up my emotions and go into mom mode. I just feel so alone. I feel like a failure for not having a job and for not being able to give my baby a whole family.

Food: deviled eggs I made for a get together a couple weeks back.