Author: svmmersday

FINALLY after months of on and off with this beautiful man I really like, he agreed to be my boyfriend! But I feel so shitty cause our sex life is a mess and I don’t feel like I can do anything right.
As a note. I am on the asexual spectrum and he thinks he might be too. I’m definitely not helping the cause. When we had our first kiss he would just keep pecking over and over again. I tried kissing him normally, introducing tongue. But he just kept going for peck after peck. The confusing thing is when I got to pulling away cause of the repetition and misery of not amazing kissing he was saying “ohh nooo come back”. A couple months later he told me that it seemed like I liked kissing him much more than he did. I was moaning and blushing, and according to him the only thing he liked about it was that I liked it? But he does like other sex stuff we have done.
Then the next time I limited kissing and tried to give him a hand job (terrible gag reflex when I try blow jobs 😔) and he just sat there silently. Apparently he liked it and I got him close twoce but that his body and mind didn’t seem to be in agreement??? But also he told me he hates making sounds (idk if this includes talking or direction), so I don’t know if he just wanted me to change my pace around the end??
Also when we tried to have penetrative sex for the first time he just kept going soft whenever it fell out. He said it was probably just nerves but it may be something else. I just feel like a bad partner!
Also when I I tried to ride him the bouncing is sometimes rough on my shitty knees. And his dick just kept. Hitting. My. Cervix. We had to stop because despite doing his best it just kept accidentally going to far and really hurting
My last boyfriend would cum sometimes in less than 30 seconds, and would then finish me off manually. But now I’m just not making any progress.
To be fair this is based on one experience because last time we hooked up it was all me (hiding from his family on vacation and wanted to be quick) but now he’s in Austria on vacation and I won’t see him at least till September.
Idk I just had to get this off my chest, advice is welcome, I just want to make him feel as good as he makes me feel. He is so kind and supportive and tells me it’s nice anyway and that due to our lack of experience it make sense but I feel so shit. Wish I could go back to my useless cumdumpster no pleasure sex life it was so much easier to feel good about myself;-;.
Advice welcomed, or idk whatever you got
Yummy Vietnamese rice bowl and peach tea to drown my sorrows