Photo: two club crackers I have to force myself to eat right now so I don’t get a stomach bleed from my medication that must not be taken on an empty stomach.
EDITED TO ADD: I appreciate all of the great and thoughtful advice about selling so items, finding a DV shelter, changing my direct deposit with my employer, as these are all important things that I will absolutely do. The immediate problem right now is that he controls all access to bank accounts and credit cards and just cash apps me money when I need it, which he is refusing to do right now. I have two flat tires on my car so I can’t get anywhere and can’t even call AAA to repair them because I can’t pay for them. I don’t even have e access to enough money to get an uber or pay for a hotel room once I get there. I can have all the financial stuff sorted out and change my next pay deposit, but right now I am trapped here.
ALSO ADDING: Police have been called but he fled before they arrived so there is nothing they.can do and told me just to call if he returns.
Last night, I discovered that my husband of 12 years has been engaging in 5 to 6 month long affair with some random girl that he literally picked up at a bar while he was out with his friends one night. Once I knew who the girl was, I was easily able to find her on his Facebook once I saw her name I google able to obtain her phone number so I sent her a text message and asked her if she knew that he was a married man with a family at home. She never responded, but my husband definitely knows that she got the message apparently because today working an overnight shift for overtime as he had told me he was apparently there in bed next to her when she received it.
He came home about two hours ago, walked in the door and was ragged and away. I’ve never ever known him to be before. He started renting about me hurting other people and she didn’t deserve that, and he just sat with her for the last two hours change your comfort her tears. Of course, I was also in tears, but he didn’t care about that. I started asking the questions that wives do what they find out their husbands are secretly sleeping with other people, such as where did you meet her and how long has this been going on. He then blew up and said fine you want details I’ll give you details and proceeded to start telling me the most disgusting intimate details of the sexual encounters with a smirk on his face. This was said in a way that was absolutely intended to make me feel ashamed, belittled, and humiliated. I started crying so hard that I could barely breathe and just begged him to stop. Not only did he crush me away that I can’t put the words, but I couldn’t begin to even wrap my head around the fact that this is my husband being so cruel to me. At one point I got up to walk away, so I didn’t have to listen any longer and that’s when he shoved me down and told me that I will stay there and listen to every word and every detail of everything they did together and if I even attempt to get up, he was going to shoot me in my face.
I immediately call 911 for my Cell Phone because it’s the very least I knew that would cause him to stop holding me down and hopefully flea, which is exactly what he did. So far the police haven’t located him and I don’t think they’re necessarily looking. I’m absolutely terrified that he is so out of his mind over this shit, especially considering this is so far out of character for him. I cannot wrap my head on the fact that it even happened. I’m so frightened that he is so obsessed with this affair partner and he is so full of rage over “me destroying it” that he genuinely does want to and will try to take my life over it.
He can be anywhere right now just waiting for the opportunity and I feel like a sitting duck in this house. Especially considering he created circumstances to keep me trapped here so he knows exactly where to find me when it’s time. He stuck his pocket knife in two of my car’s tires to flatten them so I can’t leave. He has been the one to handle the main finances such as mortgage payments and car payments so essentially he is in full control over our combined household money/accoounts and credit cards. I do work but my paycheck goes into the account he controls and then he just sends me money from the account when I need it via Cash App.
So in addition to flattening my tires, I have no access to any money to get them repaired or replaced where’d you even get the car towed to a tire shop. He is well aware of this and he’s also well aware of the fact that I literally don’t have any friends or family nearby except a 2nd cousin who is away in Ireland for the next two weeks. Not only do I need access to money to get my tires replaced, but I also need to access money so I can secure a hotel room or something until I can figure out what to do. I have texted him multiple times begging him to just send money to my Cash app (my money that I earned btw), and I only will not send anything so I can get myself to safety, but he won’t respond at all and he shut his phone off for the last few hours.
I really don’t know what to do. I as I am truly afraid (and quite certain) that he is purposely making sure I stay trapped so he knows exactly where to find me if/when he comes back to “remove the obstacle” that just blew up his affair. When he told me he was going to shoot me in the face, he said it with his whole chest and looked directly into my eyes as he said it, and I’m pretty sure he means it. I truly don’t have a single person right now that I can call to come pick me up, and even if I did, I have no way to pay for a place to go temporarily like a hotel until I figure out something more permanent. I don’t even have enough in my Cash App to get an Uber to take me to the nearest bridge to sleep under. He has an entire locked and fingerprint protected, gun, safe full of guns and ammo, and I don’t have a single way to protect or defend myself in this house.
On one hand, I am so devastated and completely crushed over everything that transpired unexpectedly this morning that I feel like I don’t even care if he does put me out of my misery but I also don’t wanna be executed in my own home for the crime of discovering and exposing the affair and the lies that he chose to involve everyone in.
*** please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors, as I am posting this, using the voice to text function on my phone because my eyes are too swollen from crying to even see the keyboard to type