Dinner: homemade salmon poke bowl with avo, carrots, edamame and nori.
I (29F) have always been the “golden child” to my parents. Always obedient and never got into trouble, got good grades in school and studied a good degree in uni. Moved to a first world country with a much stronger currency and am currently living / working there with my fiancé. We make good money (80k-100k euros per person per year) and do our best to be financially responsible.
My parents have done a lot to support me. They paid for my University back in my country and supported me financially until I could support myself. But, they have never been good with money. I shared a bedroom with my grandma my whole life up until I moved out for uni because we didnt have enough bedrooms in the house. My brothers had to share with my parents. There was never money for renovations, but my parents (mostly my dad) spent money on hobbies (fishing, gaming, model airplanes, leather jackets, speakers) and over time, as their business grew more succesful, he started spending money on luxury things: a boat, a brand new (unnecessary) €50k car, fancy gourmet restaurants, only expensive clothes / shopping at fancy grocery stores, etc. He’s even given my scammer MLM cousin €1500 because he “felt bad for her”
A few years ago, my parents informed me that they have no retirement money saved up and asked me to save a specific amount (€250 / month for as long as I was studying). I agreed and have now saved up 20,000€ for their retirement. The problem is, I know this is not going to last them very long, because of how expensive their lifestyle is. I am getting the vibe that they expect me to just take care of them forever once they retire. This is causing me stress as I can’t afford to live, save and also fund their expensive lifestyle. I don’t plan on having kids to bail me out, so I need to save for my own retirement and future. It frustrates me that they complain about not having retirement money while also living a more expensive life than I do and that I have to be the responsible one while they get to ignore that part of life. They don’t see the problem since “I’m rich” and should be able to support them.
Recently, my dad asked if I could take 2000€ out of the savings account for a birthday present for my mother (an exoskeleton suit so she can hike easier due to some mobility issues). I told him that the money in the account is not for that, but that I’m willing to talk and help make it work so we can buy the gift for my mom. His response was “just do what you want” when I didnt immediately say yes.
Is this a normal ask from parents? Am I being selfish and ungrateful for being frustrated? I love them but this is causing a rift between us.