Food is my comfort meal with a little upgrade: buttered noodles with parmesan, chili oil and a cut up cheesy sausage
My ldr boyfriend of 10 months ghosted me so I guess he's my ex now. We met last year while I was doing a semester abroad in his home country and had ourselves a cute little whirlwind romance out of which grew an actual relationship (or so I thought).
I went to see him in his home country this year and stayed with him for 7 weeks. In the lead up I was actually pretty unsure because he had a super busy period at work and our communication wasn't great for a little while but while I was staying with him, things were good. There were some things we needed to talk out (mostly different communication styles and other things that could be attributed to cultural differences as well) but he kept telling me that he wanted to work on these things, too.
We didn't actually get to spend a lot of time together when we first met, so to me, talking about all these different things in person felt like we were on the way to building a stronger connection.
He kept telling me that he wanted to build a future with me, too. During the last 2 weeks of my stay he even decided to start looking for a better paying job so he could come visit me in my home country sooner as he doesn't earn a lot of money (and ticket prices are insane now).
We had a heartfelt goodbye at the airport before I flew back home and the first week of me being back home everything was normal. But then he stopped reaching out as much. He told me he was too stressed and anxious about his job search, that he wanted to put all of his energy into that because of how important it was for his future.
He missed two of our scheduled video calls because according to him, he fell asleep and forgot to set an alarm. Then he told me he wouldn't be able to call for the forseeable future because he was too stressed.
This really freaked me out because talking on the phone and video calling was the main way that we stayed connected. I tried my best to give him space but I also wanted to find alternative ways for us to be able to stay in touch. All of this with him reassuring me that he still loved me and wanted to be with me.
I tried really, really hard to just be okay with this situation but I couldn't. I tried calling him once because even though he had told me he couldn't talk on the phone I missed him so much and I just wanted to hear his voice. He didn't pick up and he didn't reply to my messages. I decided to give him some space and then reached back out. He responded but from there everything just deteriorated. He'd message me once a day, if even. He then ghosted me for a full week. I feel so stupid typing this now, but I was still so willing to work things out. He eventually reached back out. I asked him if this meant that we were over and he said no, he would tell me straight up if he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. I told him that I wanted to talk to him on the phone. He said he'd be able to call on Sunday. I even set a calendar reminder in our shared calendar. You can already guess what happened. He didn't call and he didn't pick up when I tried to call. The line was busy. I really wanted to believe that it was just his mum or friend calling so I tried to call back later and also messaged him. He never got back to me, of course.
I feel so stupid for believing that he actually wanted to build a future with me. I feel stupid for trying to make a home out of a person who couldn't even remember to set an alarm so we could talk on the phone. I feel embarrassed about the amount of sadness and grief this has caused me. My mum tells me I need to move on and I know that she's right but I am just so sad.
I feel so embarrassed because I told my friends about this great guy I met and how things were going good just for him to ghost me.
I have been broken up with before and while that was devastating being ghosted like that is on a whole different level of emotional pain. I don't understand how someone who would make plans for the future with me could just drop me like that.