absolutely banger korean food that my partner brought me to eat earlier in a GOD AWFUL heatwave because he wanted to cheer me up with my comfort meal.
this is HOPECORE. my ex and I broke up over two years ago and it was the most traumatic experience I have ever been through. it wasn't a normal breakup, he discarded me while I was pregnant in a red state (he knew) and started dating someone new almost immediately. they were literally at an amusement park while I was going through body horror and awful shit. my family was supportive and I have been through so much therapy, I am so thankful for all that. at that time, I would listen to SZA's normal girl and tell myself that it will be so much different "this time next year". I hated my life because I lived in a small conservative town in southern USA and didn't have a lot of money.
a year later I got a job in paris. I finished my doctorate (women in STEM!!) and accomplished so many personal goals. I was still alone and resented having to be alone while making a huge international move, but I was in paris and life was good. I focused on personal growth and learning french. I kept telling myself "this time next year".
I met my partner this year. we met at a cafe, it was a slow burn and started as a friendship. then we kissed in a beautiful park (parc des buttes-chaumont for those who know). I felt like I was in a movie. he is fit, about my age, handsome, successful, cultured, and speaks several languages. he is also locally famous, adored, and well loved for his art. unlike any of my exes, he has never made me feel like a second choice. nothing was casual about this relationship and he made it very clear through his actions. I have never had a relationship feel so secure from the very beginning. the heatwaves in france and my luteal phase have me in a weird mood this week but he has been so patient and nice to me through it all. he rented a car to take me out yesterday to see the fireworks and we have been on a marathon date. I am so grateful for a man who understands me to this level. I am crying tears of joy after the perfect long weekend that my boyfriend made happen despite the awful weather.
since it was so traumatic, I do think about my ex and his rebound sometimes. I know it's a bit weird for me to be thinking about my past while being so happy in the present, but unfortunately I was abused and I am going to take as much time and venting as I need to be over it. i am so happy that my last relationship didn't work out. i will never be the loser disney adult that my ex needed and he will never be the sober employed man that I need. ultimate downgrade for him and absolutely ultimate upgrade for me.
if you're freshly out of a relationship or thinking about leaving someone who is a lying piece of shit, please know that it get's better. it gets SO SO SO much better.