Dinner is chocolate icecream + a cherry vanilla soda
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I’m not sure if this needs a trigger warning: so I’ll just include it.
About 4 months ago my parents got into a domestic dispute which ended with my mother getting arrested (I called 911). I witnessed the entire incident, which was sufficiently traumatic (domestic violence, alcohol, screaming matches, weapons).
Afterwards I spent about 1.5 months living with my father. He would spend almost everyday venting to me, about:
How he failed in life
He might as well kill himself
His wife is gonna divorce him
Everyone hates him, including his own family
My father has had a history of mental illness (PTSD, Depression), as a result I’ve never had a great relationship with him. Largely due to his hoarding, victim complex, emotional immaturity, and so much more…
He and I got into 2 major arguments during this time, both times I made an attempt to run away from home (he made threats towards my safety).
Only on the second attempt did I succeed, and I stayed in a hotel for a week until I went to live with my mother.
Since living with my mother I’ve started therapy and graduated HS. However I’ve had to call 911 two separate times. The first time she threatened suicide (while drunk) then ran out of the house after dark. The second time we got into an argument about her drinking that escalated to her threatening me with suicide and a knife.
No doubt, the divorce is placing a lot of stress on her. She’s used up a lot of finances in this, additionally he has attempted to stalk and harass both her, her lawyer, and me.
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Throughout living with both of my parents individually I’ve been insulted and dehumanized: I’m vindictive, manipulative, selfish, evil, too independent, I’m the source of the marital issues, I should be disowned, I’m not the first priority, I’m unlovable, and a whole lot more I can’t remember.
I’ve always had a feeling since I was very very young that my relationship with my parents isn’t gonna last. And just now I’m realizing my childhood + parents relationship has affected me VERY negatively.
Right now, I’m still a minor and my first priority is getting emancipated and moving out. I could really use any advice ! ! !
Sorry, this post is pretty rushed and doesn’t cover everything.