i(22f) recently broke up with my long-term boyfriend a few weeks ago, and i had a crush on this guy from work. he's the type of guy who's so pretty everybody likes him and people stop in the street for him.
a friend told me that he also thought i was cute and i guess it was silly, but it got my hopes up.
unfortunately, we never really talked and idk what i expected but i was bummed for sure.
i followed him on instagram and he didn't follow me back, but i unfollowed him because im no man's fan girl o7.
i believe in tarot and magic, so i did a reading that said anything i pursue with him would lead to something negative, and he wasn't in the place for anything romantic.
every sign pointed towards nothing happening for us, so i gave up. i wasn't looking for anything serious anyways, so it didn't affect me very much.
or so i thought.
cut to last night, i'm playing games with a mutual friend (of me and the guy). he knows i liked him, and brought up how he was interested in another girl. i guess it made me realize that this guy didn't care about me at all, especially not the way i did for him and it hurt more than i thought it would.
it just feels like a humiliation ritual, especially since i try to not live a male-centered life, i hate on men, and i feel very confident in myself as a woman.
it feels like i've just been made the joke in a game of oreo (yk the one from middle school where people get asked out as a prank). like, why do i care so much about what he thinks?
it's whatever, i guess, since ill get over it eventually but … ouch.
tldr; my crush doesn't give a fuck about me.
lunch: toasted avocado and egg sandwich with homemade chili oil
EDIT: guys when i said i hate on men i didn't mean that's my sole purpose for living 😭 it was more of a comedic thing but i guess it came off wrong lol