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I asked " you know what" and here is what the response was:

Your plum is most likely telling you to eat it at peak ripeness before fruit flies claim it, rather than transmitting intergalactic financial advice. While it is highly improbable that your fruit is a sub-space receiver, here is how to interpret its "signals" just in case:

The "Alien Stock Tips"

Market Volatility: Fruit assets are highly liquid and prone to rapid depreciation (rotting).

SEC Compliance: The Securities and Exchange Commission does not currently recognize stone fruits as certified financial advisors.

The Verdict: If the plum feels squishy, it is not telling you to short tech stocks; it is just overripe.

The "Lottery Numbers"

The Pit Count: Plums are drupes, meaning they contain exactly one large pit.

The Math: "1" is rarely enough to win a major lottery jackpot.

Wrinkle Reading: If you wait for it to turn into a prune, the wrinkles might look like numbers, but they will likely just spell out "you waited too long". Hysterical!